My Stories

“His brother texted me and also my own daughter wasn’t happy. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” She looked tensed. The previous day, she had shown me her pictures where she wore red sari, put red bangles, lipstick, all traditional jewels, chhadke tilhari and potey , in all excitement. And today, she was worried for the same things that made her happy yesterday. She explained. Her brother-in-law had texted her asking the reason behind her wearing the red sari and bangles and tilhari and potey. He asked if she got married again. He had given her taunts for wearing all of them. Also, her daughter had called her to let her know that she shouldn’t have done that and that she is all so angry with her activities. “Mom, you shouldn’t have done that. People are asking about your marital status. I’m so mad at you”, her daughter told her. “How can I convince people about my interests in wearing red and all other ornaments and bangles. He’s been gone for three years now. Wearing or not wea...

That slam I made on the door. I was on my way to office passing by a crowd of people, the noisy messy traffic. I could hear people, I could hear the engines of vehicles around, the horns they honked. Various sound, various noises, the sound I didn’t want to hear. Tolerating all those noises, I finally reached the office, late by 10 minutes. To my little relief, I didn’t have to face any faces to get any unwanted questions and greetings. I didn’t want to answer, I didn’t want to greet anybody. I didn’t want to hear anything or utter any word. I had an unwanted expression on my face. I sat on the seat unwillingly. The tea brought up in a cup above a saucer, I didn’t want to drink it. On the desk, I had the desktop I didn’t want to boot, the papers I didn’t want to even turn over, pens whose lids I didn’t want to open, the telephone I didn’t want to even bat an eye on. The papers, the pens, the water bottle, the mouse, the telephone wires, the table calendar, the cell phone, none o...

कुरा नहुँदा तिमीसँग, हरेक पल आत्तिएर मिनेट मिनेट गनेकी थिएँ “तिमी आउने प्रतिक्ष्यामा थ्यें”, ढाँटेकी थिईनँ, मैले साँच्चै भनेकी थिएँ।। हात मिलाउँदाको स्पर्श नि कति प्यारो, लाग्थ्यो हात कहिल्यै नधोई राखूँ तिमीलाई अनि मात्र तिमीलाई भनि साँचेर म आफैँलाई नि नछोई राखूँ।। साथी साथी भन्थ्यौं हामी, कल्पनामा त म कता कता हराएकी थिएँ थामेर राखेकी थिएँ मनलाई, यो मधुर मित्रता नि मेटिएला भनि डराएकी थिएँ।। कति राम्रा तिम्रा आँखा, धेरै वाक्य यही एउटैमा समेटेकी थिएँ भन्छु भनेर लेखिसकेका मेरा भावना, तिमीसम्म नपुग्दै मेटेकी थिएँ।। यो, त्यो अनि अरु खै के के भुल्थ्यें, दिमागले नै षट्केकी थिएँ मनका कुरा तिमीलाई पोख्दा पोख्दै धेरै पटक अड्केकी थिएँ।। ठट्टा थिएन, मेरो दिनमा उज्यालो तिमीले नै भरेको थियौ ठट्टा थिएन, मलाई तिमी साँच्चै मन परेको थियौ।। बल्ल तल्ल आँट गरेर तिमीलाई सब थोक भनेकी थिएँ हाँसै हाँसोमा टारीदियौ कुरा, तिम्ले सोच्यौ मैले ठट्टा मात्र गरेकी थिएँ।।

बिहान आँखा खुल्नासाथ मोबाइल हेर्याथ्येँ, उस्ले अगिनै उठेर नि मलाई गुड मर्निङ्ग मेसेज पठाको रैछ, अन्त्यमा एउटा रातो पान राखेर, मुस्कुराउँदै उठेँ। सुत्नु अघिको कुराकानी सम्झना आयो: "निन्द्रा लाग्यो, सुत्छु है?" "ल ल सुत" "रिसाकी हौ र?" "छैन, किन रिसाउनु" "अनि खै त गुड नाईट?" "भन्नै पर्ने हो र" "त्यती नसुने निन्द्रा लाग्दैन फेरि मलाई" "आलु, जाऊ सुत, शुभरात्री" "यति भएसी बल्ल ढुक्कले निदाउँछु म, गुड नाईट" म फेरि मुस्कुराएँ। उसको र मेरो इनबक्स खोलेर, मोबाइलको स्क्रिन तल माथि गर्दैछु, सुनसान छ। एउटा हेलो मेसेज आएनी खुसीले कत्ति उफ्रिन्थ्येँ होला। दिक्क लाग्दो कति कुर्नु, याक्टिभ नाउ भन्या बेला "hello" भनेर पठाईँदिएँ। डेलिभर्ड। एक शब्दको मेसेज, खोल्ने कष्ट समेत गर्न परेन उसलाई। जाबो हेल्लो मेसेज त हो, रिप्लाई नि आएन। आश नि मर्यो अब त। सायद अलि धेरै व्यस्त भएर होला। या त उसको मेसेज बक्समा मेरो नाम अल्लि तल पुगेर होला, उसले भुलेको। निक्कै समय भयो अब त, के म पनि भुलिदिउँ? यसैमा मेरो भलाई छ, सायद। ...

21st July, 2017 9:50 in the morning, and the scorching sun in the sky. Two sisters were on their way to school. I was walking after them. And there came this man in his cycle. I couldn’t figure if they knew each other. But the man offered them a lift. They were two, and hence hesitated cause they thought one still would have to walk. One on the back and the other in the front, the man assured them two seats. They were happy to get help and the man was happy to offer. I stopped for a while to look at three of them fitting in the bicycle and to smile, that’s how I almost forgot to take their picture.  “People seem to shrink their heart with the increase in the possessions they earn.” This statement happens to be proved true at many cases. Many people in their air conditioned car don’t even bother to bat an eye on people around. While on the contrary, we can also find people as such who wish to offer help to others with anything small or anything little they have.

30th March, 2017 In my new workplace, I was having a random conversation with my fellow employees. Then there entered our pantry staff who generally passes her leisure time watching YouTube videos and goes with the flow of emotions in it. Anything she finds fascinating, she shares with us. This time, she came up with a news where one lady started wearing red soon after the death rituals of her husband. And I sudde nly wanted to know what she felt about it. With no unusual expression on her face, she said that she liked what the lady in the news did. She added, "I didn't wear anything red in initially. But it's been two years now. I love red and I love wearing tika and bangles so I no longer stop myself from wearing them. I think everyone should think that way. One shouldn't forbid themselves from wearing something they love. If it's your heart that gives you the permission, why fear other's opinion."   The red tika, bangles and the red lipstick she w...

1st February, 2017 The only clear and loud voice one could hear in the micro bus belonged to this old lady. As soon as she climbed up the micro bus, she started with how long she had to wait for the bus to come. And then she didn't stop even for a minute. Every other ears on the bus were grabbing her words with some questions in between. I always wonder how fascinating stories these elderly people always have. To hear the type of life they lived it's always a treat for the ears and hearts. The  ups and downs they went through, that tender age when they were married at, their encounter with their new home or the elderly husband they got, their strange love life, meetings and departures, how they came to know the alphabets or never got to hold a pencil. Each of their lives can be written into the highest selling novels. Even in these rush hours, while we always run for a thing or other, we definitely need to create a listener in us cause there are these people always seeki...

23rd February, 2017 I wonder, is it really the religion that asks these tender ages to walk bare feet and go people to people asking for a fistful of grains or some pennies, regardless of the weather? What could be that lesson that someone would tend to teach them and why one can't find some better alternative ways to make these small heads learn that lesson? Why would someone feel it necessary to deprive them of the world that other people of their age are living in, what could be that precious reason behind? Are they even asked about their will? How can someone be made to choose without even letting them know what the options were? To what extent is it right? Can anyone ever give a logical reason which wouldn't arise any question?

18th March, 2017 "Nabina and Nadina", she quickly replied when I asked her name. These are two sisters who stay in the street of Banasthali with their mom who is a vendor. Because no one really bothers to even look at them, they were overjoyed when I approached them. And on asking for a picture, the happiness was reflected in their eyes. I showed them the picture and they wanted their mom, dad, grand parents, sister, all to be in the picture. Nabina expressed how much she loves all of them. T hen, she asked if I have my granny or not, I made my granny's image in my mind and said to myself that she's still with me, and then nodded a yes to Nabina. She was so happy to see how I cared to listen her and she began expressing many small details about what she loves. And at the end, she asked why I was there, I replied that I was there waiting to meet my aunt and then she frowned,"Hadn't you come to meet me?" Well, that was touchy so I made her believe th...

30th March, 2017 When you have to travel in a public vehicle in a daily basis, you definitely get to encounter with many stories . Well, in my case, I try searching for the stories in every curves of the lips and the vertical column of people. One evening when I was struggling to find the hanger in the bus ceiling to stand properly while the bus run through bumps or to survive the driver's quick application of br ake, I saw this tiny head peeping out of the window pane. It wasn't unusual until she asked her mom, "Mummy, do you need a car?" It definitely was a magnetic question to me. I quickly ran my eyes around to find out the reason behind the question and I got it. The bus had reached a car showroom the very moment she asked the question to her mom. Her mom with a smile said yes. Those tiny lips moved again, "Alright then, I'll buy you a car after I grow old and Baba will drive you around in it." With these words she smiled wider leaving a smile o...

22nd March, 2017 On the stairs around Basantapur Durbar Square, I was sitting in the morning sun with my newspaper, and a Chinese tourist approached me. I don't know what made her offer me for a snap with her, and when I asked if she was having a good time in Nepal, she replied, "You are lucky to be born here". She then thanked me for the picture and left.  Many of us have merely learnt to accept the pleasure of being a Nepali citizen. People from other country envy us, and we don't even try looking at the brighter sides of being in Nepal, our bad. Complaining doesn't vanish the problems, but accepting and looking at the brighter sides, at least, helps us move forward towards erasing them.

9th June, 2017 It had been 2 hours that I had reached there. Every other patient had their visitors, nurturing, feeding and making the patients feel easy in every possible ways. Then I noticed one patient with her 23 days’ old baby on her side and she had no visitor, her husband, or mother, or her in laws were nowhere to be seen. Then, one of the visitors of another patient reached her and asked about her relati ves. And it was only then that we knew that she’d been there for 24 days already and had no visitors ever since. Every other bed had new patients in every 1-3 days but that one bed hadn’t been replaced by another patient for 24 days. The reason wasn’t any severe illness of the mother or the child but her husband had fled away the very next day after he brought her to the hospital as the labor pain started, and shifted the room to some other place. They had been married for just a year and their parents hadn’t accepted their inter-caste marriage. There, in the hospital, she...

26th April, 2017 Staying away from her? I never wanted but I’ve had to so many times. Among the 19 years that I’ve been on earth, I’ve lived away from her for 3 years or a little more. I was 12 when I had to leave home for the first time, it was miserable, worst thoughts that came in my mind was then, at the age of 12. Again, I had to stay away from her when I was 15. It never felt good but I was into growing towa rds maturity and had learnt to accept things. Then for the third time, when she had to go away from home, I was 18. Days had gone worst but I was at my strongest. Circumstances were never going on our favor, but each time my relationship with her was growing stronger only. The closeness and distances between us always made us grow and taught us better about life. May be mother is such a person who teaches us the most of our life’s lessons staying whether near or far from us. Life doesn’t come with manual but it comes with a mother.

23rd April, 2017 In my home, generally, it's me who goes out to bring groceries. But during my menstruation period, nobody allows me to go out to fetch oil, vegetables, milk or any other groceries. Me, going weak on those weeks, happens to be the reason but no, it's because the purity of the groceries happens to vanish if I touch them during my monthly cycle, and those materials are forbidden to be ta ken to the kitchen. I can't enter the kitchen and have to rely on my other family members to get water or foods on those days. I can go no nearer to the prayer room. I feel sick about this tradition and none of my family members listen my voice against it, just because they fear the society may boycott me. This surely is a mutual feeling of many women and girls in my society, all unspoken. But what if all the inner voices come out and unite? Revolution is possible and I'm optimistic about it.

8th December, 2016 It was only about 3 years ago that I met my granny's sister for the first time. Until then we only knew we existed at some corners. She is 86 now but she always manages to visit Kathmandu to see us. During her visits, we have a lot of talks. She teaches us lessons from her experiences. Listening to her adventurous days while she was young, is something that always fascinates me. Tour to India and  living in there, working as a driver, awful miscarriages, she has so many stories to tell us. She enjoys sharing about the days she went through and I always love listening to her, and hence we kinda make a pair. Even when we don't meet, we make calls to each other. She expects my call every other week. Our bond only grows stronger and stronger. Sometimes, I feel like meeting her was destined so as to recover the place of my granny whom we lost last year. During her recent visit, she got me a ring. Handing over the ring to me, she said, "Always keep this wi...

26th September, 2016 When I first picked it up from the dusty road on my way to home, I hadn't believed much in it. It could be just a thorny stick of some plant. But still, somewhere deep inside, I had a little hope that made me plant it in a jar with a little mud in my terrace. That little hope, today, gave me this beautiful view and a wide smile on my face. We all have hope but a strong belief in that hope definitely helps you remove the "im" from the impossible.

25th August, 2016 We already had two sons , so both of us wanted a daughter. But, I had to pull my dead 8 months old daughter out of my womb with my own hands. When I came to my senses, I saw him holding his dead daughter in his arms and sobering in tears. I can't even explain how I felt and how he must have felt. I live with my sons now. It was only about 3 years ago that I got a call from my younger sister who w as in her visit to Kathmandu to see her daughters. I immediately managed to go Kathmandu to meet her and the daughters. Though it was our first meeting, I saw their immense love for me. They treated me like their own mother. I was so fortunate to have my daughters after such a long wait. I visit them every year but I fear if I would be able to make it the next year. - Laxmi Pathak, 86, Simara

11th December, 2016 I am Anita Adhikari from Kathmandu and I'm on my way to complete two decades on earth. Fair complexion, curly hair and short height, this is the apparent me but in real, I'm much beyond. I've no best or worst kinda thing when it comes to the taste of my food, clothing, places or friends as I don't do white and black. Most of me love grey of most of the things. Singing, dancing, badminton,... these  are few hobbies I love the most but I excel none. I remember choosing to sing for talent show in a pageant which definitely went horrible, but I don't regret, and that's me. I wear my own opinion almost always. I believe in feminism where women aren't superior than men. I haven't gone out much, but I believe I can survive more than happily if travelling is only thing given to me. Companied or not, long or short, and walking or rolling, I'd travel whenever and wherever possible. Already in a year gap after my high school, I now have ...

20th July, 2016 I was wandering around the Basantapur Durbar Square and then I saw this old lady. It was her smile that pulled me towards her and sit with her.  She's Balkumari Karki from Sindhupalchowk. My husband died 40 years ago, I am now 80. I stay with my daughter but my son in law doesn't like it( She had her beautiful smile throughout). She sells maize for people to feed the pigeons around the temple. "I  bring 5-10kgs of maize a day. The shopkeeper allows me to keep a due sometimes." To each pedestrian, she greeted 'hello' and requested to buy her maize for the pigeons . I sat down with her to help her sell. I requested few of the people and a guy finally bought a bowl of Rs.20. She was so thankful. A next person bought a bowl of 50. She then, quickly prepared a bowl of 100. To my surprise, her prediction just came true that the next customer bought that bowl of 100. She was so happy and thankful. she has her meal twice a day only and so I aske...

22nd May, 2016 I was on my way to hospital to visit my maternal aunt. It was the footpath in front of Kathmandu Mall I had to pass by and that's the footpath where many handicapped, unwanted and helpless people stay trying their best to collect money from passer by to join their hands to mouth. I was in a hurry. I walked that way quite often and I didn't stop to drop any penny to any of them. I  just had my breathe held on my throat when all of a sudden, a boy of around 9 years old tightly held my hand and pleaded me for money with much anger and hunger in his face. I couldn't decide what I should be doing next. His hands were tighter than before, and I was shaken with all the strength those hands had. More than pity, his activities made me ignore his pleading, and hence I tried walking away. As I did, I sighed a relief. But no sooner had I sighed a breathe of relief, I got a hard punch on my back that I nearly fell down on the ground. I saw it was the same 9 years old ...

28th May, 2016. When I look myself in the mirror, I feel good. Not because I love admiring myself but because my body isn't a reason why the ignorant world remarks me as incapable. All these parts are none of any reasons for these ignorants to disqualify me before any race. I know, if I come second in a competition, I'm not praised for defeating hundreds of guys behind me but discouraged that a girl can never be a champion. Their sheep-minds have been repeating this way of thinking just so much that I'm sure they are also gonna get confused about the reason behind this thought. But my curves aren't the reason for this. Looking at mirror is always encouraging and full of positive vibes to me.

2nd June, 2016. Hari Maya Bhatta, 82 (Baseri, Dhading-07):  On a normal day when you meet her, you will see an old lady doing the household chores like cooking, cleaning dishes, sweeping the house & washing clothes despite of her 5 broken ribs which won't let her stand properly. Yet, she believes that 'everyone should find a way to smile away from the pain' , said Harimaya with a big smile. This is her stor y. Hari Maya Bhatta, now in her mid 80's is a mother of 17 (With 9 alive now). She loves making gundruk (Traditional Nepali fermented spinach), chaana and sukuti (from spinach and other vegetables), grinds grain in jaanto (a pair of grinding stones). She makes ghee for everyone send them to her children houses. She lives with her eldest son and his wife where she finishes the majority of households which gives other to spend more time in their fields. She seems to be happy with her cell-phone which was recently gifted to her and expressed gratitude fo...

13th June, 2016. I introduced myself more than 5 times to them during our 1 hour long conversation. Already into their 104th year on the earth, they could merely keep stuffs in mind for long, great granny was quite well with her memories though. The great grandpa seemed to be quite active and also very caring and loving to his wife, so was great granny w ith him. "I don't know, they say we've already crossed 100, she is even older than me, 1-2 years, may be", he said with a frown as he started and a lovely smile towards the ending. Granny spoke out immediately, "Nah, it's just 8 months." Both of 'em laughed out loud, I could see their teeth well attached with their gums. They don't have even a single tooth off their gums. Staying currently in a temporary house after the massive earthquake of April,2015, they said they miss their family home so much. Pointing his early days as if it was only yesterday, grandpa shared, "We were all so good....

4th November, 2016. I was excited cause my dear hen had her very first egg. It had suddenly started yelling so much and I had reached her to get amazed to see that tiny little egg and feel its warmth. And then, my excitement were all vanished there when I noticed the blood stains on the shell. I could relate myself and all the other girls with the hen. So many similarities and yet one difference. The pain, the excit ement, the grief, the butterflies, the V, the S, we can at least share with each other, talk these stuffs, feel the feelings of each other. Even animals go through the stuffs like the humans. But, we merely talk or hear these matter relating to animal. Happiness, sorrow, pain, love, grief, ... How must've the hen be feeling. Neither could she share nor will I be able to understand myself. I'm definitely thankful for the abilities that I'm provided with.